139|365: first missed appointment

and so it happened.....

papa missed his first OBGYN appointment with me today since baby #1. i know, right??? jk. he had other work commitments that couldn't be rescheduled and i knew i couldn't cancelled my OBGYN appointment knowing next week would be difficult. i was nice enough to forgive him. i've gained 20 lbs thus far and look like i've swallowed a basketball. i was also supposed to complete my glucose tolerance test by now and guess what, i didn't even do it! i'll have to schedule an appointment right before work for next week.

today, aiden watched me wash our carpet. i have OCD issues and wash our carpet about 3-4 times a week. he saw me dump the water into the toilet and then resumed again. he stood there and said, "mom, i know what's a good mother's day gift. when you sleep, we will clean the house and make it shiny for you." it made my heart melt but made me proud at the same time. i'm glad he sees what hard work is ......

also, dylan can't ever keep a surprise or a secret so don't ever tell him. i guess it depends, but he gets too excited and rather just spill the beans. he rushed home from school to tell me he made me a card and told me how much he loves me. i teared up after he recited what was on the card. i found out aiden read the card in the car to him and helped dylan memorize it.  aiden, on the other hand, told me he has a surprise for me but can't give it to me until sunday. i already know it's a handmade card since he woke me up this morning to ask if he could borrow my stapler. he said he was making something.i'll patiently wait.

and, have you ever felt humor in your day from something extremely random? well, i usually do not pick up random numbers, but because work has been extremely busy, i didn't know if the call was work related and i decided to pick it up. it happened to be a little boy. he said, "hi, i'm aiden's friend. can i talk to aiden." i said, "hi. i'm aiden's mommy. he's not home right now." (my voice was in high pitch since i was trying hard not to laugh). then, i told him he can try again in 30 minutes and the little boy did call back. i thought it was funny that aiden gave his number away at school to his friend so they could talk about games and sight words they learned. 

besides that, we spent our friday evening at boomers since our boys are tall enough to ride their own go-kart. they love taking control and feel like they're riding a real car. we hung out around here for a bit and then headed over to the very first 626 OC market night and it was a total failed. the line was horrendous just to get into the market. we decided to leave since we didnt' feel that the wait with four kids would be worth it for mediocre food. this mama was not about to wait in a 40 minute line just to get in and then wait again for food. NO THANK YOU. i'm just thankful for yet another day to have spent it with my family that i care deeply about.

love my boys. XOXO.

138|365: please go away.

i'm almost at the finished line and this is probably the last stage of pregnancy that i have mixed emotions. i'm extremely excited to meet our newest addition, but to get to that part, i need to battle out with my back pain, continuous weight gain, enlarged breast, and frequent urination. then, comes labor, but that's a whole different story. but.....what's killing me the most ... my back! my husband gives me daily massages and tells me he can't feel his thumb (probably after 20 mins) because he puts so much pressure on my back. most of the time, i can't feel a darn thing! my back feels like a rock with a bunch of crazy knots all tangle into each other. i hope i can make it through these last 12 weeks of pregnancy. somehow, i always manage to forget this stage because once my little prince comes out, i feel forever blessed.

earlier today, i laid in bed for about 10 minutes to give my back a break and here comes evan, who is utterly attached to me. he's probably the funniest of the four right now. i couldn't imagine a day without this little dude. he's my everything.

love my boys. xoxo.

video

here's a video i made that i have yet to blog about ... enjoy for now. xoxo

137|365: F.O.M.O.

sometimes i wonder how i manage to commute from OC to LA county daily for work.... the only part that is most enjoyable would probably be the alone time i get in the car to think about random things. today, i thought about the two weeks that i took off to spend time with our boys. it made me miss waking up to them, but especially spending the time with our two youngest during the day. i always feel guilty leaving them and sometimes with the demand of work life, maybe it's time for me to call it quits. i love the flexibility and the work and life balance my company provides me. however, the FOMO "fear of missing out" really hit me hard today and watching them on the camera from work doesn't do justice. it's being with them. i'm thankful i get home early enough to spend time with them and play my mama role. ITS IMPORTANT TO ME. my body feels exhausted, but my mind, heart, and love for our boys keeps me going. i'm going to do a lot of thinking this time around when i leave on maternity leave. i can't predict what the future holds and what my plans are ..........

i just know, my six boys stole my heart. 

love my boys. XOXO.

136|365: getting ready + tools

how did time fly so fast? It's landon's birth month and i've decided to throw him a party. as busy as i am, i've waited last minute to plan, but i'm sure it will turn out fine since i'm just buying everything and have reduced the amount of DIY projects I typically do for our boy's birthday. i just want people to relax and have fun.  speaking of which, i still need to send out an evite to my family and mama friends. i'm going to keep it simple. i can't believe he's turning one in 11 days! before i know it, he will be walking and talking. and on top of this, we're having another addition in 12.5 weeks!


today, we dropped off aiden at his piano class and killed time walking around home goods. evan has been into tools, trains, and baking. i don't' know how many tools i've picked up for him in weeks, but he continues to love them and we picked up more at the store! while we're here, my husband and i were holding everyday conversations about what they did to help with their verbal intelligence. we always believe that raising a smart kid takes development. some may believe they're born with intelligence and perhaps, it's true, but to me with no background facts, i believe it can be trained and learned. for example, evan and his tools. we'll do a lot of pretend play at home to get his mind twirling because he will understand the building blocks and concept that a tool can be used to put an object together. and the more i poke at this, i personally feel that it will continue to help him with his curiosity and give him an uplifting power to determine how smart he could possibly be! 

love my boys. xoxo.

videos

i'll be blogging about these videos, but for now, enjoy them. i'm going to delete this post in the next few days. these videos will be placed on the day of the outing. yes, i'm working backwards. lol. xoxo.

135|365: a state of being busy

I returned back to work today after spending two entire weeks off with our boys. The first week was spent with all four, while the second was spent with two since two-returned back to school after spring break.  Some days were exhausting, while others were just perfect in every way possible. I wanted to spend this time to really look back and remember the day where I stopped what I was doing (in this case work) and dedicated my time to just focus on our boys. I WANT TO INVEST IN MEMORIES. I personally believe this is the ultimate gift any parent can give to their children and I feel this profound satisfaction knowing I’ve preserve time to see who they are and allow them to help me become a better mom (i.e. why I never ask for help besides my husband).

I’m not perfect. And ….I’m that mom that lays in bed at night adding up all the time my boys spend at school, home, running errands due to extracurricular activities and the moment left becomes vitally precious. For that, I’ve given up basically my hobbies to dedicate my life to our growing family of 7. A big family is not meant for everyone and I constantly preached that, it’s OK, it’s setting your priorities and figuring out what you really want in life.

It was tough getting back into the swing of things and returning back to work, knowing there would be numerous issues to address. I try to keep myself relax and stay positive just like being at home and trying my ultimate best to have a relaxed attitude about housework and finding balance with our boys. It’s the only way to enhance the quality of my life without feeling so stressed out. Trust me, I know I can’t handle everything by myself or commit to doing everything.  I know this would be an indication of my success if I learn to relax sometimes.

Today we returned back to our normal routine of work, school, extracurricular activities, dinner together, homework time, and just being home again.  It was nice I didn’t yell as much today either. They’re more behaved at home than when they’re around others i.e. my parents. I feel like they’re hyenas waiting to destroy the world when they’re around them.  I guess, they know they could get their ways with their grandparents. 

On a different topic, Aiden told me today, he wants to help buy a bigger house for our family and he saved $66 dollars. This melted my heart!

Hope you had a great Monday.

Love my boys. XOXO.

 P.S. I never blog without a pic or video. Heres' my baby lan lan. It's his birth month. Can you believe he's turning ONE in 12 days?

134|365: proud mama moment

Aiden started reading at the age of 4. He has this amazing memory and can retain information quite well. HIs ability to read introduced him to a talent he has fallen in love with. He started playing piano at the age of 5 after I contacted a piano school and convinced them to allow Aiden to play.  They felt he was too young. They gave him a one-month trial and were unsure whether he would be ready. Sure enough, they were convinced after he was able to retain everything they’ve taught him over the course of four weeks. Yes, it’s a dream to have one (if not all) of our boys play an instrument. I never forced him into learning this instrument.  I’m not the tiger mom.

It started one day, when Aiden arbitrary asked me if I could take him to lessons and from that day, he has fallen in love with piano.  I don’t know if I’ve inspired him in some ways from the days he was in my womb or listening to me play occasionally when time permits. I remember growing up and hated practicing, but as I grew older (just like anything else), I appreciated the gift my parents had given me.  This doesn't appear to be the case with Aiden. He enjoys practicing and I know he appreciates us because he tells us we work to pay for his lessons.  He also tells me all the time that he loves piano more than basketball and soccer. He has found his own passion. Piano provides discipline and responsibility. It gives him an appreciation for music and exposes him to a world outside his comfort zone.

I’m glad he finds happiness playing the piano and I know this gives him a sense of joy and confidence. Today, I couldn’t be more proud to watch his first piano recital. I know he was nervous, but he rocked it better than I expected. I was counting in my head to make sure his timing was accurate and it sure was! I wanted to cry while holding lan lan in my arms. It was that moment that I looked and couldn’t be more proud that Aiden is my son. Music connects my soul and I definitely connected to Aiden’s piano piece.

Good job, Aiden! 

Love my boys. XOXO.

133|365: balancing family and work commitments

my husband is always busy and works about six days a week. however, he helps run his family business, which allows flexibility when it's needed especially for our family. he's very committed and i'm glad that regardless, he still share childcare responsibilities because running a business inevitably involves making sacrifices. he knows that if he doesn't spend time with us, it can create problems sooner or later. It's not easy, but if you ever stepped foot into his shoes, you would know he's the world's greatest dad. he never complains and sacrifices sleep for us.  He limits his phone usage when he's around us, too! Lets be real. So many parents are glued to their phone and I think that's horrible! I'm hardly ever on my phone when I'm around our boys, hence the slowness in my test messages response or return calls. The only time I pull out my phone is to capture a photo of them or if we're in the car, I'll check my emails or messages.

Today, he worked later than normal (noon) and I missed my friend's baby shower since he was supposed to drive us to LA. Totally understandable. I was able to tuck all four boys in for their afternoon nap and by evening, we did what our boys wanted to do and that was to head to the park. They got dirty. They played. They enjoyed themselves like all kids should. 

Here's what they did when they woke up from their 3 hour nap:

39|365: big bear trip + good deed

it was that time of year again. we meet again, big bear. this is my in-laws annual family trip. we didn't get there until late friday night. our boys were so ecstatic about seeing snow because we talked about it all week. we were hoping for an increase in precipitation, but this year rain has been quite low. even with the small rainstorm that came during the week, it gave us enough snow in the backyard of our cabin for our boys to enjoy. they woke up saturday morning and rushed out after breakfast to play. the weather was not too bad and it wasn't as cold as I expected it to be. 

later in the afternoon, we took our boys to big bear snow play to go tubing, but it was crowded. the lines looked horrendous. it felt like an episode of being at disneyland except way, way smaller. there were families after families all over the place, but at least our boys got to see the snow. we decided to return back during the evening, in hope of a smaller crowd. it wasn't nearly as bad as the afternoon, but still as bad with poor lighting and maybe smelly lines. haha. i really don't know since papa took our 3 boys and i waited with lan lan.

we also had sunday mass in our cabin. pretty darn awesome, right? that's the cool thing about having a brother-in-law who is a catholic priest. during the homily, he asked papa to talk about his paying forward story on friday at target and how that kept him thinking the entire day. well, short story, papa met a young homeless guy as he walked out of target and he asked for some change. papa asked him if he would like to go shopping in target for food. the young guy oblige and went in. he went straight for the packed tuna and only grabbed one. papa told him, he can grab more food to last him for a few days, but the young guy didn't want to take advantage of the situation. papa grabbed a basket and encourage him to pick whatever he needed and the guy went for the cheapest brand. everyone has a story and papa always asked him what's his story about being homeless. well, he used to party all the time and never listened to his parents. his parents set a curfew of 10 PM and he never listened. he eventually got kicked out and went back several times to see that he has failed again. he wants to restart his life and papa emphasized the importance of going back home. honestly, there's no place like home. the homeless guy doesn't want to and is now living at a shelter. papa spare him some more change so he could take the bus back to the shelter. this was my husband's way of spreading the word of God through his good deed. he truly has an amazing heart and he doesn't always tell me what he does when he does good deeds. 

lastly, i love vacations but when we are on family vacations with other families, it tends to throw off our boys schedule. when things are thrown off, our boys tend to act crazy. i did try my best, but we called it a night at around 9 PM. the only way i'm able to manage our boys at home is to have it structured and on a certain schedule, otherwise, i wouldn't even make it out ALIVE. i don't mean to be strict about schedule and letting loose, but this mama needs sanity and it's the only way to do it. 

love my boys. xoxo. 

38|365: packing anxiety.

ohhhh my gawd .........

is there anything fun about packing for a family of six especially for kids five and under! hell no!

lets just say by the time i was done packing for our entire family minus papa since he does his own (mr. five minute packer), i nearly wanted to shit in my pants. papa couldn't believe how much i packed, but you know with four boys, you have to pack extra clothes, a blanket for each kid and pillow, plus extra outfits. i also refrained myself from bringing any of landon's toy because we just didnt' have any car space. it also made me nervous about unpacking from this vacation. have i ever told you about how much laundry i do in one day and if i miss one day, i'm basically screwed? so, yes, i'm screwed.

i kept murmuring the entire time saying "OMG, this is crazy." my husband always see the light at the end of the tunnel, indicating that it's fine with all the things i've packed and this is the way we'll be traveling as a family. basically, he doesn't care. this man loves to travel long distance and he still hasn't convinced me to take a long road trip with our family yet. i'm just not mentally ready with our boys.

this mama will probably need a vacation from this vacation.

love my boys. xoxo.

P.S. I forgot to take a picture of our trunk. SORRY.

37|365: so this is how it feels to be sick

My days are always filled with perpetual motion that eventually becomes a blur.  But, these past few days has been extremely difficult for me personally. It’s when everything doesn’t go perfectly. Evan and Dylan caught the flu and of course, I was down with the cold. Their cough evoked such sympathy and I was so miserable I couldn't do anything, but I kept telling them, it's going to be OK. I would have been fine if I wasn't SICK the same day they were! Arggghhh....I was scrambling extra-hard just to be there for them because when they’re sick, they always want “mommy” by their side like elmer’s glue. I was so dizzy and congested; I seriously thought I was going to die. I hate the bug that is much smaller than me and can beat my body like no other. I CAN NEVER afford to be sick, however, I can’t do everything, but I do try as long as I’m strategic about it, which I am most of the time. I’m telling you, this is life as a mom. In my opinion, it's a calling and I wouldn’t consider it a job because I’m not getting paid to perform my duties, but a way for me to live a certain life I’ve desired. Papa laughed when I told him, I married such an awesome man. He's so patient and calm. Plus, he doesn't isolate himself from our bed even when I'm sick. It's wonderful.

Anyways, I went to sports chalet earlier to buy some snow gear for our boys and was holding landon when a man behind me in line mistaken him for a girl.  My other boy clan had already walked out of the store to get into the car so it was just me and Landon. He said I had a cute daughter and I wouldn't have to worry about her going "bald" with all the hair "she" has. Oh boy. Let me say, this is not the first time landon has been mistaken for a girl. It always happen when he's wearing his onesie for some reason. I responded, "thanks". Haha!

And, whoa... the winter olympics started today. LET THE GAMES BEGIN. i love the olympics. here goes to sleepless nights, which means, I'm outta here now! Ciao!

Love my boys. XOXO.

P.S. I finally uploaded the video from our beach day last month.